It has become increasingly imperative for me to seek holiness in God. And even recently, I have begun to understand what “True Repentance” really involves.
The foundation of real repentance starts with a deep exhaustive and honest self-examination, followed by a sincerely complete confession. An examination so honest and pure as to even observe that there could be hidden darkness in ones heart; A fearful trembling of sincerity coming from a pure heart dedicated and committed to exposing the very depths of ones secret thoughts and motives is required.
The reality of limitations concerning “real repentance” are daunting to say the least, not to displace any responsibility that we all have to completely and utterly repent of all sins, but to acknowledge the seemingly insurmountable, even impossible, work load one has to overcome when obeying the expectations of a perfect God.
This would suggest the idea of wasting ones time, when trying to live holy outside of the necessary indwelling of the supernatural Power of the Holy Spirit, how else could one walk in Holiness, in Perfection of the Spirit.
In our weak human condition, we can only hope that in our desperate cries that God will quicken our hearts with the necessary desires to persist in our efforts to seek him. It is in the implanted supernatural desire of God that we can begin to take refuge.
I find myself recognizing my inability to break off certain stubbornness and rebellions bound in my heart. I can only rest in the security that God will have to act on my behalf.
I desperately demand a way out. I cry to him with deep confessions of helplessness. I fearfully remind God of his word, his promises, his love and mercy. I cry out in weakness and the inability to solve this devastating human condition on my own.
I ask for a pure heart, to be cleansed, to be strengthened by his Spirit. I humbly beg, then boldly, yet faithfully demand, that He keep his word to me.
Amazingly, He always does. He is only moved by a contrite heart. He hears a broken spirit. He is pleased with a faithful prayer. He loves it when I remind him of his word with faithful humble boldness.
He has lifted me up, I don’t see all the solutions right now, but he has lifted me up and placed me on his shoulders. As long as I remain broken and faithful before him, I will remain forever his.